Dear Housemates,
Even if we seem like a cheerful house, always ready to have
a beer in the backyard or even to go out together sometimes, lately there are
different problems reclaimed by some of us. I will get more into that a little
later.
The house where I used to live in before coming here had
different rules, and it was rather boring. I pride myself with my fast
adaptation to this house, because I didn’t play the ‘nobody gives a fuck’ rules
in quite a while.
Maybe the disappearance of my toilet paper or of my frying
pan were surprises. I was not used to philosophical couple fights until 4 AM in
the morning, or with cleaning the shit of others in the toilet or the snails of
others in the sink. But I took it, as long as I was also allowed to do my
things.
What are my things? I am officially announcing that I will
be staying home starting with 1 September. I have a computer job (I won’t get
into details), and I will stay home and work on that. Normally, nobody gives a
fuck and I would not bore you with that, but this is a different context. The
type of tobacco that I like to smoke sometimes in the backyard helps me in my
job. Not only that, but as some of you find their fun in drinking and puking,
or having couple fights until the early hours of the morning, I also have my
ways to have my fun. And I would like to keep them, just as you get to keep
yours. Otherwise, I will have to switch
to other types of ‘fuel’ such as alcohol, and I am pretty sure you will not
like me more after this ‘transformation’.
I realize the smell of my special tobacco might be annoying,
and also that it can bring me problems, being imported and all that, but I
would like you to bear with me once in a while. I will try to do this as far in
the back yard as possible, to avoid any unpleasant odours in the house.
I apologize again to the people that will sometimes feel the
smell, but the carbonized beans (after boiling 2 hours) at 3 AM in the morning
which I had to stop before we all burned, the rotten catfood outside after two
days, or the unflushed shit in the toilet are a lot more smelly. Even if my
tobacco is a little annoying, it does not get me to puke at 3 in the morning,
or to fight at 2 AM. It does not attract flies, and it doesn’t give me the
impression that heavy metal Monday at 8 AM is a good idea.
I promise to stop my habit if this has become a problem. But
if this becomes a problem, so does the unwashed dishes in the kitchen, the
dirty toilet, the unflushed water, the burned foods, fights, music at certain hours, my disappearing forks,
toilet paper, etc, etc etc. I have a feeling that respecting those rules will
be hard especially for those who actually want them, so I would rather continue
as it was. If not, we will need some strict rules, but not only about tobacco,
but about all the crap that happens in this house.
Sincerely, The Wannabe Londoner
